can a meh middle manager be a good CEO, stickers in a work notebook, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager .
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Can a meh middle manager be a good CEO?
It’s common to hear of “worker bee”-like employees excelling in their duties only to flounder when promoted to management roles. However, is it possible for someone to be a meh middle manager only to shine in an upper management role?
I work in a nonprofit with satellite locations throughout my county – think a string of community centers – and serve under a site manager who often appears bored in their current position, is vocal about the fact they have more management experience than anyone else in the organization, and is pretty transparent about wanting their boss’s job. They are active in a statewide leadership organization and have given talks on management at various conferences.
As my direct boss, they are responsible, sane, and skilled at nipping employee interpersonal conflicts in the bud. But I would not rate them as one of the best managers in the organization. While other site directors have worked to cement community partnerships, conduct asset mappings to better understand their neighborhoods, and encourage staff trainings to improve customer service, my manager has not. Instead, they’ve spent a lot of time in their office viewing and participating in leadership zooms. They started this position right as the pandemic began, and there is some basic information – budget logistics, resource relationships – that wasn’t immediately shared, so their institutional knowledge has been limited in places. When an employee turned to staff outside our building for clarification on these points, my manager has become angry, asserting that all questions and requests must run through them. On top of this, they are a big fan of delegating – at times responsibilities that should fall to them.
Our organization’s CEO recently left, and our board president is smitten with my manager. They have heard them give talks through their professional organization and thinks they have great leadership potential. But can a person be emotionally checked out as a middle manager only to blossom as the head of that large-scale institution? Or are their prioritizing of professional leadership organization activities over boots-on-the-ground community service, anger at employees going over their head for information, and delegating some managerial responsibilities red flags that they would be a problematic executive director?
The delegation on its own doesn’t worry me so much — executive directors often have to delegate nearly everything but fundraising, community relations, and decision-making — but spending a lot of time on leadership webinars instead of engaging with your team’s work worries me, as does the anger at someone who tried to get highly relevant info this manager couldn’t provide. And if they’re emotionally checked out, I’d be extremely concerned about putting them at the top of the organization; a checked out executive director can do serious damage.
None of this is a crystal ball or means that your manager would definitely be a terrible executive director, but the biggest red flag might be that it sounds like your board president is basing their enthusiasm on things that don’t relate to how your manager does their actual job and is responding to stuff that’s more window dressing than substance.
2. Should I still recommend someone after they violated confidentiality?
I work as a contract employee at a large health care organization. I’ve been in this role for 14 years and prior to that was a “real” employee/manager here for several years. I am entrusted with important work, I love my clients, and am well paid. However, I’m looking forward to an early retirement this fall. If possible, I would like to help in the transition and would be very willing to train the new person.
My plan is to give four months’ notice. I have specific reasons for this timeframe, i.e., I want to continue working right up until I retire and don’t want to be left with little or no work once my replacement is hired and I train him/her.
I work with “Amy,” whom I considered to be a good candidate as my replacement. I knew she was only marginally satisfied with her current role and thought she would do well in my role when I retire. We had a friendly relationship. I quietly told her my plans, making it clear this was confidential and that I don’t plan to tell my client for a few more months and why. She was enthusiastic and asked me to put her name forward when the time came. She understood it was confidential.
So imagine my surprise when one of my clients in the organization recently told me that Amy said I’m retiring soon and that she likely will be my replacement. My client was understandably hurt/confused that I didn’t tell her myself and that she had to hear it from Amy. I apologized profusely and said it was confidential and that in no way did I promise Amy that she’s my likely replacement. I’m furious with Amy. I waited a couple of days to calm down and told her she violated my confidentiality and put me in a very awkward position with my client. She gave tepid excuses and apologized, but the damage has been done. I have remained professional but cool toward her ever since. I have no doubt that she’s noticed.
Now it’s almost time to give my four months notice, and I don’t know whether to put Amy’s name forth as a potential replacement. She could do the work very well, but I believe she is untrustworthy. Sometimes my job requires handling confidential information, although not always. I don’t want to be petty and vindictive, but I also don’t feel comfortable recommending her wholeheartedly any more.
Should I tell my clients, all of whom I’ve known for years and am close to, that: (1) She could do the work very well but that I have reservations about her judgment and ability to keep things confidential (and give a high level overview of what happened)? (2) Put forth her name with no comment at all? (3) Or not recommend her at all?
You’re not under any obligation to recommend anyone if you don’t wholeheartedly think they’re right for the job. Amy is welcome to throw her hat in the ring when the vacancy is announced, but you don’t need to champion her candidacy if you don’t want to. However, if she still has the impression that you’ll be suggesting her, you should make sure she knows she knows that you don’t plan to — which could be something like “I’ve decided I’m not going to make any specific recommendations for a replacement” — and that she needs to formally apply if she wants to pursue the job.
If she applies and you’re asked for input on her, you should give it as impartially as you can (including your concerns about confidentiality, if that’s important in the work).
3. Using stickers in a work notebook
I work as a receptionist in a small counselling service. It’s a very busy office with two receptionists working at the same time, as we get quite a lot of phone calls, emails, and people coming in through the door on top of all our other admin work.
I have Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD and I keep track of everything — calls, to-do lists, emails, and more — in a notebook, like the other receptionists do. What I would like to do is add stickers and different colors to my notes. I did this in college and found it helped me focus immensely and not forget something several pages back. That way if I don’t sort something immediately, I can draw my attention to it so I won’t forget it.
My office is quite casual and very friendly, and I have brought in other stationery as I love it and buy too much. My boss noticed some sticky notes that were pink and had flowers and complimented them and used them herself, so I know those are okay, but I don’t know if stickers are too much. They wouldn’t be sparkly or cartoons or anything overly childish — just arrows, dots for bullet points, and things like that. I’d obviously only use them on my own notebook and nothing else. I’m also usually the only one who uses or sees my notebook; it’s not out at meetings or shared with coworkers or anything like that. I think stickers would help me remember things and be much more efficient, but it’s my first office job and I want to be professional but I’m not sure about this. What do you think?
You are totally fine! Get the stickers! It would be fine even if other people did see your notebook — the sort of stickers you’re talking about are likely to make you look more organized, not less, and they’re something you see in plenty of offices. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of your coworkers like them and adopt the habit themselves. Go for it.
Related:
will my taste in office supplies seem weird or unprofessional?
4. Fending off solicitousness about my pregnancy
At the end of May, my organization is hosting a large conference that I’ll be helping to staff. I’ll see all my coworkers (I work remotely so this is an unusual occurrence) as well many clients, partners, etc. who I work with on a regular basis.
At the time of the conference, I will be seven months pregnant. I’m a fairly private person and being so publicly pregnant is a bit outside my comfort zone (my first pregnancy was entirely during the height of Covid restrictions so I didn’t see anyone!), but I’m prepared for the congratulations and questions about when I’m due. The piece I’m not sure how to handle is the solicitousness I’m expecting from some folks at the conference, both colleagues and conference attendees. Some of my responsibilities will involve light physical activity (along the lines of running mics to attendees during sessions), and I’m anticipating some people jumping up to try and take the mic so that the obviously pregnant lady doesn’t have to be on her feet. This anticipated reaction is making me uncomfortable! I’m fully prepared for the conference — I’ll wear comfy shoes, have water and snacks available, take breaks when I need them, etc. And I have a very active toddler at home, so it’s quite likely that being at the conference will be less physically demanding than my average weekend chasing after him. I’d prefer to be treated as a professional and not have people try to take over my conference responsibilities, but I’m assuming that some people will want to do so. Any advice on how to address this would be much appreciated!
Keep repeating this: “I’m fine, I’ve got this.” And if necessary: “I enjoy doing it and don’t need help.”
If there’s a core group of people you expect this from (like the people you’ll be working most closely with during the conference), it might make sense to explain it to them ahead of time — “FYI, I’ll be visibly pregnant while we’re there and I know sometimes people want to save the pregnant lady from physical activity — but I’m fully capable of running mics during sessions, etc. and wanted to preemptively say I don’t want to modify anything I’m normally responsible for! I’m looking forward to it.” (You might throw in a joke to lighten this up if there’s any risk of this reading in your office as martyr-ish.)
5. Saying you’ve graduated when it’s a few months away
My son, who graduates high school in early June, is filling out applications for park maintenance and the like for seasonal summer employment. These ask if he is a high school graduate, and he is answering “Yes,” while also uploading his resume with a grad date of “June 2023.” Is he handling this correctly, when he hasn’t technically graduated yet?
He’ll have graduated by the time he’d be beginning work, so it’s fine to answer “yes” to that question to avoid being wrongly screened out.
Related:
how can you get around automated screening questions when you’re actually qualified for the job?
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