telling recruiters I won’t move to states that discriminate, AirTag etiquette, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager .
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Telling recruiters I wouldn’t move to a state that discriminates
I’m currently job searching, trying to relocate from a mid-sized city in a purple state to somewhere like Chicago or DC, and one of the major reasons is because of the worsening political climate here (for context, I’m a gay person of color in a pretty conservative field). Lately, I’ve been receiving messages on LinkedIn from recruiters for large, national firms regarding positions in places like Miami or Dallas. Is there a professional way to say I’m definitely not interested in those cities due to the increased hostility and discrimination in those states, but that I’m open to opportunities in other cities in blue states? I don’t want to come across as very political (at work, I scrupulously avoid political talk) or burn any bridges at these companies since I would be interested in offers in the right place. I also think companies ought to know that these policies will hurt their business, even though I know saying anything won’t do anything to make things better.
Would you be comfortable saying, “As a gay person of color, that state isn’t safe for me to move to, but I’d be interested in similar opportunities in states with a different political climate”? Or just, “Florida’s not on the table for me because of what’s happening there legislatively (or because it’s stripping away so many protections for residents) , but I’d be interested in opportunities in states without those issues”?
The first version has the benefit of personalizing the impact, while the second version has the benefit of suggesting this is an issue that concerns candidates regardless of whether they’re in the groups being targeted. I think either one conveys what you want to convey in a calm, straightforward way.
2. AirTag etiquette at work
I have a terrible habit of losing my car keys, which has been made worse by a toddler that’s fascinated with finding/hiding them. So my spouse bought me an AirTag and keychain holder for it. This has worked great because my phone now tracks the keys and it even beeps to help me find them.
However I’m less likely to be the only one in my office section now and with a range of 33 feet, I’m concerned someone in another cube or a training is going to see the safety message that pops up if you’re around an AirTag not registered to you. It’s designed to pop up as a safety feature in case someone is using one to track you … and I know that statistically in a place this large someone is likely to have cause to be concerned about stalking.
Do I need to do an all-staff email that I have this? Mention it before I give a on site training to a new group? Am I overthinking it? I don’t want to stress anyone out but I’m not sure where tracker at work etiquette is since these became popular just in the last few years.
As long as the owner (you) is still near the AirTag, that message shouldn’t pop up for anyone else. It’s designed to pop up when the owner isn’t around but the AirTag is still there.
So it could be an issue if you leave your keys at your desk while you’re somewhere else for a very extended period of time (I can’t tell the exact period of time from Apple’s documentation, but it appears to be longer than an hour; it used to be 8-24 hours and they announced last year that they were shortening it; I can’t find what they shortened it to) but otherwise it should be a non-issue.
3. Can you be fired for breaking a policy that everyone breaks?
Here’s something I was thinking about in regards to my last job. There were rules clearly stated in the employee handbook and contract as policy, such as not drinking on the job or doing extra work outside of the organization, that didn’t really ring true to the actual day to day operation of the company and the office.
We weren’t Mad Men drinking, but one of my jobs in that place was to go out and buy drinks for people to enjoy in the last hours of the day on Fridays, while they were still technically on the clock. Also, we were in a creative industry, and a lot of people were working on passion projects or freelance work in their own time. The scale of those projects wouldn’t be comparable to that of the company’s — but went against the letter of the policy.
Would it be possible for a company to use this as a “gotcha” and discipline you for breaching the policy, despite it being part of the culture? Possibly to get someone out of the company for one reason or another? Might be paranoid thinking — it didn’t happen — but was curious about the practicalities. This is UK, by the way.
I can’t speak to the UK at all, but in the U.S., they would run into legal problems if they used that as a pretext for firing or disciplining you when the real reason was something illegal (like if the real reason they fired you was because you were pregnant). In the U.S. firing or disciplining someone for a made-up reason isn’t illegal in itself — they can claim whatever BS reason they want, as long as the real reason isn’t something that is specifically against the law (like discrimination).
So if they fired you because you were pregnant (which is illegal) but claimed it was because you violated their drinking policy, you and your lawyer would be able to show that was BS, since they let other people drink on the job without penalty (and in fact actively encouraged it), which then opens the door to arguing that the real reason was pregnancy discrimination. On the other hand, if they weren’t using it to cover up something illegal — if they just fired you because a client didn’t like you, for example, and cited the policy as their cover story — that wouldn’t violate the law (although it would probably make it easier for you to collect unemployment benefits, which is a whole different thing).
Basically, employers can lie, but if the lie is in service of an illegal act (like to cover up discrimination), the illegal act is what would break the law, not the lie itself. The lie might make the illegal act easier to prove (“everyone did X and only I got fired for it”).
4. I don’t know how to respond to my company’s automated endorsement requests
My organization has an automated endorsement system. If someone who applies for a job notes in their application that they know you, you get the option to indicate whether you endorse them — yes or no — and nothing else. Responses are confidential.
I encountered this for the first time this week when I got one for someone I went to college with over a decade ago. We’re not in touch but we have a lot of friends in common and each other’s contact info, so I was surprised he put down my name but didn’t reach out to me directly.
This person is well qualified for the job he’s applied to, but when I knew him he had a somewhat challenging personality. As such, I’m inclined not to respond and stick out my neck, but I think, if he had reached out, I would have endorsed him.
What’s your read on this system as a whole? Are you as put off by the straight thumbs-up / thumbs-down option as I am?
I’m put off by it too. References should be nuanced, not a yes/no situation. Sometimes they can be an obvious yes or an obvious no, but more often than not it should depend on the details of the specific job the person is applying for, what skills are most important, and what weaknesses are unimportant — which are all things you might not have any insight into when your company asks you to render a quick verdict. I can think of people I’ve worked with who were amazing at job X but who I absolutely wouldn’t recommend for job Y (for example, someone who’s great at building relationships and fundraising but would struggle with a job that required high degrees of organization and attention to detail).
It seems like what they’re really asking is, “Do you want to give us a red light on this person for any reason?” — which will get at really big problems (difficult to work with, embezzled money, pooped in people’s lunch bags ) but doesn’t allow for more nuanced input on fit.
5. Weekends during business travel
I have an amazing opportunity to travel to Japan for work. My question is about travel reimbursement norms. I will be there for three weeks. My business will mostly be conducted on weekdays — Monday through Friday. If I do not have business (dinners, meetings, etc.), is it the norm to have a weekend off? If I take a weekend off, do I still put in for lodging and per diem for those days?
Yep, unless you’re told otherwise, assume you’ll have weekends off. It’s definitely the norm to be reimbursed for lodging on the weekends, and usually food as well. (It’s different if you were choosing to extend the trip through the weekend for vacation when your company otherwise would have had you fly back earlier — in that case you’d typically cover your own expenses — but assuming you’re expected to resume work there on Monday, these are all still business expenses because you need to remain there for work.)
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