How do I ask for personal time off without disclosing why?

Welcome to Pressing Questions,  Fast Company ’s mini-advice column. Every week, deputy editor Kathleen Davis, host of  The New Way We Work  podcast, will answer the biggest and most pressing workplace questions.



How do I ask for personal time off without disclosing why?



The short answer is: Say “I need to take X days off.”



But that answer only works in an ideal world where companies don’t nickel-and-dime PTO and managers trust their employees as responsible adults who also happen to led complex personal lives.



In the real world every company, team, and manager is different. And so, your approach will vary depending on your relationship with your manager, your role and your company policy.



Regardless, company policy is a good place to start : How many sick, personal, vacation, floating holiday, or bereavement days are you are allotted? If your need falls neatly within those allotments and you haven’t already used your time, then all you need to do is say, “I’m taking four sick days the first week of May,” and leave it at that if you don’t want to disclose why. If you need to take more time off than you have allotted or have used up your PTO or need to request the time off on short notice, you will need to have a bit of a conversation with your manager. Still, you can share only the level of detail you are comfortable with and only to the people who really need to know (your manager and direct reports). Here are some other things to remember:



Mental health just as important as physical health. The tide is turning with acceptance of this fact, but realistically many managers and workplaces haven’t caught up. In fact, according to one survey , 62% of Americans believe that their boss would judge them if they requested time off for mental health care. But if you reframe your thinking to how you’d tell your boss you had the flu, you can request/inform about a mental health day in the same way: “I’m not feeling well today and need to take a sick day,” and then take the day off without guilt. If you have a long-term, more serious or reoccurring mental health issue that will likely require a note from a mental health professional and your time off will likely be protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act , or ADA.



Finally, life is messy and complicated and unexpected things happen that pull you away from work. Your manager is also human and has likely experienced difficult, unexpected things. I’ve always personally found bereavement policies that allot a certain number of days for different relatives to be completely out of touch with reality. No one can preordain how many days or weeks you’ll need before you can return your attention to work. When the official channels come up short, you need to prioritize your well-being, and that will require a conversation with your manager. Hopefully they will be compassionate.



Need a little more advice for asking for time off? Here you go:




The biggest mistake to avoid when your coworker is grieving—and what to do instead



The bigger lesson from Facebook’s new bereavement leave policy



How to ask for time off on short notice (and not get fired)



The ultimate guide to taking a sick day