4 ways to effectively beat self-limiting beliefs

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: You set a big goal . You’ve outlined the steps and used your study of goal-setting to make sure they’re achievable and assigned deadlines to each. On paper, it all looks good.



Then, self-limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome kick in, usually leading to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and a lack of confidence. Maybe there’s even some refrain of, Who did I think I was trying to accomplish this? playing in your head.



Self-limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome can keep you from doing things you really want to do. And they “come in all shapes and sizes,” says psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler, author of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power .



“Common self-beliefs include how long something will take,” says Morgan Schafler. “Some examples: ‘It would take me years to get out of debt/get over this breakup/become healthy.'”



Other common self-limiting beliefs include how joyful we can be. Some examples, according to Morgan Schafler: “‘I can’t be happy until I have kids [or] a partner; I can’t be happy until I have X amount of money.’ And then, there are the ‘I could never be X role’ self-limiting beliefs. Some examples: ‘I could never be a writer, an actress, a homeowner, someone who travels around the world,’” she says.



Fortunately, there are some ways to manage these common beliefs to help you get beyond them—or, at least, harness their power to work for you.



Anticipate obstacles



As your brain starts manufacturing reasons why you can’t achieve what you’ve set out to do, start enumerating them. Then think about whether they’re actually true and, if they are, how to overcome them, says economist Katy Milkman, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School and author of How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be . There are factors that will keep you from achieving your goals, ranging from procrastination to bad habits to lack of confidence.



Devote some time to “obstacle anticipation.” This may seem pessimistic, but think about emerging concerns and whether they’re even true, Milkman says. Then, think about how you can overcome the real obstacles.



She uses the example of running a marathon: Too busy to train? Mark set training times in your calendar so that you can plan around them. Don’t know how to start? Begin by looking for reputable training programs online or working with a trainer. Hate running? Find a way to make it more fun by involving friends or listening to books or music while you’re running. Like goals, “the way you deal with obstacles is by breaking them down and figuring out what is the solution to each one,” Milkman says.



Look for your models



Schafler says that finding models can be a powerful way to overcome self-imposed limits and doubts. “Maybe you can’t be an astronaut if you’re 67 and in poor health, and maybe you can. Maybe that’s not so unrealistic. Who is the oldest person who’s gone to space? What about older people breaking through in other fields? Identify what the core of the limit is about. In this case, it would seem to be about age and health. Could you improve your health? Could you stack the odds in your favor in some way? The models are out there—find them,” she says.



You don’t need a model to be an exact replica of someone like you doing something you want to do. Instead, “they can be someone who is an unlikely candidate for whatever you want to do,” she says. So, look for people who have beat the odds or done something truly remarkable. “You will discover how much you actually want what you say you want once you start believing you could get it if you wanted it,” she says. “Sometimes, we’re holding onto self-limiting beliefs because it’s easier to believe we can’t do something than to acknowledge that we’re not willing to put forth the effort to do it.”



Apply creative license



Sometimes, when you lack models, you need to use a bit of imagination. “Pick a person who you deem successful in some way, or whom you look up to. It can be a famous person, an acquaintance, or someone you know deeply. Ask yourself, ‘Could I make as much money as they do? Could I travel as much as they do? Could I be as kind as they seem to be? Could I be as secure as they seem to be?’” she says. “It doesn’t matter if you want to make as much money as they’re making or have the kinds of relationships they seem to have; the point is to explore what you believe is possible for yourself.” This exercise is helpful in challenging your self-limiting beliefs, she says, “because if you don’t believe something is possible for you, you won’t acknowledge you want it in the first place; doing so is too painful.”



Reframe imposter syndrome



Imposter syndrome is also common in the face of achievement. But Basima Tewfik, an assistant professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, says that while “imposter thoughts” may not feel great, they can have a silver lining: “In my paper published in 2022, I found that workplace imposter thoughts may encourage others to deem you as more interpersonally effective at work—a better collaborator, a better coworker.”



The reason? You may be overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy. In one study, physicians in training who had more frequent imposter thoughts also nodded their heads more, used a more considerate tone, and had better eye contact during patient interactions. As a result, patients rated them as more interpersonally effective, Tewfik says.



Imposter thoughts “are a natural byproduct of being in new situations or facing new responsibilities,” she says. “And yes, they don’t feel great, but they may not be holding you back as much as you think.”



Understanding that these feelings are common and using pragmatic approaches to deconstruct them can help you ensure that they’re not roadblocks to achievement.