updates: the bad temper, the patronizing boss, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager .
Here are three updates from past letter-writers.
1. How can I keep my temper at work?
I did not pass my probation and was let go (I hadn’t driven that day so got to walk through the city with some of my stuff in the pouring rain, very atmospheric).
My husband has been incredibly supportive and we sat down and worked out a budget and how much I pay for bills etc which he was able to cover with his wage. He basically told me to keep applying for jobs that were in my field rather than taking any job that came. I did a brief stint at the local gardens for some Christmas money when I found out my car was terminally ill and needed replacing but otherwise did as he said.
I had a few promising interviews but they ultimately came to nothing, however, they did boost my confidence and, with therapy, I’m starting to build some strategies and ways of coping with, well, how I cope with things.
Three weeks ago I started a new job working for our national health service (I’m in the UK) in exactly the field I did my Masters in. The pay is not great, but there is progression, training and lots of other benefits. I’m also being thoroughly trained, there are lots of procedures in place and very set ways of doing things that are clearly laid out which I like- there’s also a lot of other technicians (over 20) so there are no clique issues and no-one cares if I want to sit by myself and read a book on my breaks!
Thanks to everyone for your support and guidance on my original question.
2. My boss patronizes us (#2 at the link)
After sending the question and reading your advice and the comments, I realized just how fed up I was. Not just with the language my boss used, but the situation and also with my team. We were literally bending over backwards trying to accommodate every little ask the organisation made. There was, for example, The Excel.
Our manager asked us “what data should we collect in order to see our team’s contribution?” We answered. Then she said “I don’t care in what form you present that data, but I want it done daily, from each individual, gathered in one document.” And we delivered, one of us created an elaborate Excel and we tweaked and tested and made it more precise and finally got a working, usable sheet that presented the info we had previously agreed upon. (This was a long process, creating Excels is not part of our job. We work with patients in health-care). Then she goes: “Well, not like this. I don’t need that info, but instead, I need this. Just ask how the other team is doing it and make it like that.”
I tried to stop the process from the start and said that we shouldn’t do anything before we were given more precise instructions. I was accused of being “high-maintenance”.
The communication issues, the inexperienced boss, the overall “vibe” in my team were the reasons I decided to start job-hunting and I am lucky to say, I am about to leave in a month. Sometimes it’s the small things that finally hit you in the face and make you question just what is going on around you. Thank you and the community for answering!
3. I’m not productive every single minute of every day (first update here )
I finally have some good news. It took me nine months, but I just received a job offer this week that I’ll be signing the paperwork for shortly. It’s a bit of a pay cut from what I was making at my last job, since I’m heading back to the non-profit world after working in government, but they offered me the very top of their salary range. It’s also a heck of an improvement over my unemployment benefits, which actually just ran out.
I’m excited about the new position because it’s a little bit of a new direction for my career – it’s in the same field but much more focused on the technical side of things, which I really enjoy and have been wanting to move into. The work environment seems like it will also be much better – they even recognize that in my province, salaried employees are still legally entitled to overtime if they aren’t management, which is honestly pretty rare.
This has been one of the most difficult periods of my life. I knew I was horribly depressed after losing my job but I didn’t realize how truly bad it was until my doctor put me on a new medication a month ago and the fog finally lifted last week. I feel better than I have since before the pandemic, so it’s left me wondering to what extent under-medicated depression may have contributed to the issues at my last job. That said, while it’s something I can learn from, there’s nothing I can do to change the past. I’m just grateful that between the new medication and the job offer, I’m feeling much better and excited about the future.
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