Why work should make you less lonely

The companies that excel in the next ten years will be those that support their team members’ social health.



On average, Americans spend more than 90,000 hours working over their lifetimes. If you have a team or go into an office, that’s a lot of time with coworkers—probably more than you spend with most of your friends and family. If you work solo or remotely, that’s a lot of time alone. Either way, whether you feel connected or lonely while working is going to have an outsize impact on your day-to-day and long-term social health.



Social health is the vital pillar to your overall health and well-being that comes from human connection, which research shows is linked to a stronger immune system, a lower risk of depression, diabetes, and stroke, and a longer lifespan. Being socially healthy involves cultivating positive relationships and a sense of community—and the workplace can be a powerful source of both, giving you the opportunity to interact regularly, make friends, and feel camaraderie with your team.



Beyond the health benefits, connected employees are effective employees. Gallup asked over 15 million people around the world if they had a best friend at work. One in three said yes—and they were seven times more likely to be engaged, produced higher-quality work, and reported greater well-being than people who did not have a best friend at work.



In contrast, loneliness takes a toll. Cigna has reported that each disconnected worker costs their employer an average of nearly $4,200 per year in missed days and lost productivity. Nationally, this amounts to an estimated $406 billion annual toll on the US economy. Moreover, lonely workers often think about quitting and are nearly twice as likely to be searching for a new job.



The bottom line is that social health at work impacts the bottom line. It makes sense for leaders to create a connected team environment—and it makes sense for you to develop positive rapports with your coworkers. Given that 64% of Americans don’t feel like they belong in the workplace and around one in five people feel lonely regardless of whether their jobs are remote, hybrid, or in-person, it’s time to make social health at work a priority.



Here’s how to start.



Reimagine your company as a community



If cultivated thoughtfully, work can engender a sense of camaraderie that is beneficial for your and your team’s social health, not to mention ability to collaborate effectively. Whether a global Fortune 500 company or a local grocery store, reframe your workplace as a community of people coming together around a common purpose. At a tech company, that purpose might be building software that solves a problem for customers. At a restaurant, it’s probably creating positive dining experiences for patrons. That common purpose is the starting point for a connected culture to flourish.



Invest in gatherings that go deeper



Create intentional opportunities for relationship-building and team cohesion, whether people work from home or together—and if you are an executive, make sure you participate.



For example, teams at Microsoft have organized “Own Your Failure” gatherings where everyone shares a mistake they made at work, what they learned, and what they would do differently next time. Importantly, the most senior person goes first to model it for others. These gatherings encourage growth mindsets, foster a supportive environment, and engender psychological safety, wherein people know that it’s okay to take risks and discuss openly. Researchers have identified psychological safety as the single most important dynamic that makes teams successful—and it’s also a prerequisite for deeper connection.



Another idea is to organize a lunch n learn series featuring internal speakers. Invite employees to opt in to presenting on their area of expertise—or on a topic unrelated to work, such as a hobby, cause they are passionate about, or trip they went on. This enables people to get to know each other across functions and levels.



Set a gratitude reminder



A simple yet meaningful way to develop closer professional relationships and strengthen social health is to regularly express appreciation. Research has shown that even a text message thanking someone is beneficial. So put a reminder on your calendar every Friday to think of someone you interacted with that week, reflect on what you appreciate about them or something they did, and then send them a message of gratitude. It can be short, but must be genuine. A software engineer at Google takes this a step further , sending a brief but sincere “kudos” to one coworker at the end of every work day, and has found that it boosts motivation and morale. Whatever cadence works for you, the point is to make intentional outreach and gratitude a ritual.



Prioritize friends and family outside of work



This might sound counterintuitive, but it’s important. After working long hours seven days a week for years, Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky realized that his work suffered if he didn’t make time for friends and family. “I actually get less productive if I don’t step away, if I don’t have connections in friends,” he recently shared , “I don’t think as clearly if I don’t have as deep social bonds.” Beyond the productivity benefits, quality time with loved ones is an end in itself—the ultimate source of joy and meaning in our lives.



One sign of strong social health is connection with a variety of people and groups. Socializing only with professional ties—just like drawing your sense of identity and belonging solely from your career—is not healthy. Instead, set boundaries for yourself and model them to others. As an executive or manager, when you do have to work in the evenings or on the weekends, schedule your emails to send during business hours so your team does not feel pressure to be available around the clock.



You spend a substantial amount of your waking hours—and therefore your life—working. Your social health, your career, and the success of your company will all benefit from cultivating meaningful connection at work. Period.



Kasley Killam, MPH, is a leading expert in social health and author of The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health Is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier .



Adapted from THE ART AND SCIENCE OF CONNECTION by Kasley Killam. Reprinted with permission from HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. Copyright 2024.